Poetry Break

And now, a brief change of content.

Old Familiar Feeling

I feel it growl behind me, quiet

rising up within to surround

Strike

sinks its fangs into my ankle

Pinned

to the ground

Animal in a trap

that is living and breathing and drawing blood

bigger and faster and older and stronger

Still

breath out slow, steady

wait inhale wait exhale wait

I feel it grow inside me, silent

drawing up before me to

Lift

the updraft pushes, purposeful

I loose my leg from my trap

Refusing

to be captive

to myself

And now, we return you to your regularly scheduled format.

I'm just gonna give it away right now; the noodling above is about fear, and not falling prey to my old patterns of doubt and panic. I had a creative surge, and I thought, Hey! Why not post it to the interwebs for all the world to see? Or, at least the 5 people who stumble across it.

Let me know what you think. I'm off to write a cover letter.

Isha

Thought of the day: References? You mean I was supposed to stay in touch with those people I worked for?

Cheese with your whine, Madam?

Yesterday was just a $#!? day for me. Really it was. Why you ask? Because I really, REALLY hate my job.

So to be fair, it's not that I hate my job exactly, since I work in a bakery/cafe, and I really do enjoy making coffee, weird as that may seem. I have worked in food service before and I like making food in all its forms, and coffee is not terribly demanding. I don't even mind the constant stream of Starbucks brainwashees asking for iced caramel macchiati all the livelong day (you want a latte you ignorant gits a macchiato is literally espresso and a dollop of foam you can't ice that). What I do mind, what is driving me crazy, is my boss, and the abhorrent way he "manages" his store.

So without going into too much detail, let me just say it took 3 weeks for him to give me a raise I should have gotten in February, he never does the weekly schedule until Monday afternoon and just expects us to work out who'll be in Monday morning, he berates us loudly in front of customers, and touches the baked goods with his bare hands. He is also passive aggressively firing some of the staff by just not scheduling them until they quit. Also, mice.

So yeah, I need a new job, so I don't go to jail for aggravated assault. The problem is that I have to keep working at my present job until I find a new one, because I am broke. So very broke. I'm beginning the job search, and looking longingly at the Harvard Medical sleep studies that pay in the thousands of dollars for 9 days under observation. Anyway, I'm just whining about it to the internet because it makes me feel a little less annoyed.

While I'm whining, I'm just going to make a list of things I want that I don't have enough money for (because I am so broke):

a new phone, because mine is almost dead and I hate Verizon

dental work, because I have more than 3 cavities and a dead tooth

a new hard drive, because my last one failed

a working ipod would be nice, as mine bit the dust

a new pair of nice flats

fresh fruit (only on weeks I also need shampoo)

Well that felt depressing toward the end. I actually get by just fine for the most part, but I wish...

I don't rightly know. That I had time to live my life and not just run the rat race.

~Isha

Thought of the day: I worry so much.

aaaaannnnnnndd WE'RE BACK!

Sort of.

Following the discovery that my hard drive failed, I pretty much lost all will power to do anything on the internet for several weeks. In addition, I've been working as many shifts as I can get in order to afford moving to a new apartment, and coordinating the acquisition of said apartment. It's been challenging, to say the least, and the ensuing exhaustion was more than enough to keep me away from the internet for the last...month.

So I'm going to recognize that daily updates are a fool's hope, and just try to get in as many as possible in a given week. Updates will be just as varied as ever, and consisting largely of my internal monologue. Today's internal monologue:

I HAVE AN APARTMENT! WOOHOO! NOW I CAN SLEEP!

(3 days later)

...I'm bored. What's next?

~Isha

Thought of the day: I have this sudden urge to take up fencing. Or yoga. Or Aerial silks. Or feminist literature...